Love Has Nothing To Do With It
by cind3r3lla
Summary: James wants it all, from holding hands to true love. But Lily's got something different in mind. Is there any way that he will agree to her terms?
1. Chapter 1

Lily pushed her hair back slowly and raised her eyes to meet his. "James, we've been through this. You know that I'm not going to agree to date you." She said, exasperated.

"Lily, please, would you consider it? Just think about it before you say no?" James pleaded, holding his hands out, palms up.

The redhead sighed. He looked so vulnerable right now. She peered at him, taking note of the whole picture. It was fairly pathetic. "I don't know what has given you the impression that I've been telling you no for the past two years on instinct alone Potter." She paused, and took a deep breath. "But if it will convince you, I'll wait until tomorrow to give you my answer."

His whole body sagged, and his jaw dropped. "Wha- I mean- You're really go- Lily?"

"A time should be agreed on. I don't want this to be a bother." Lily ignored his dumbstruck expression and checked her wristwatch in a businesslike manner. "We'll meet here in the common room before breakfast. 5:30 am. I'm not going to alter my schedule for you Potter, so you'd better be on time."

The boy nodded fervently, but not more words would come out of his mouth.

"Goodnight then." She turned away, but spun back quickly. "Potter, do try to keep this contained. This isn't a matter that the whole school needs to be privy to."

James nodded again, and Lily quickly disappeared up the stairs to her room. He gaped after her, gesturing wildly. It took a moment before he turned around to look at the other students in the common room. "Did anyone else just hear that?" He half shouted.

"Well," a brunette 7th year said briskly, "we were all trying to give you a bit of privacy to be rejected again."

"B- But that's- That's not what happened!" James stuttered, "Alice, she said she'd think about it!"

Alice Prewitt looked at his exuberant face and smiled sadly. "James, thinking about it doesn't necessarily mean she's going to accept this time."

"But don't you see?" James said, almost to himself. "This could change everything."

"James, go back and sit with Remus and Sirius." Giving him a little push in the right direction, he toddled off. "They'll sort him out." She muttered under her breath.

* * *

Alice trudged up the stairs wearily. Her bag of books was heavy, and it was only a few weeks into the term. N.E.W.T. level classes were so much harder than she'd given the older students credit for in previous years, and as proud as she was of her Head Girl badge, she was almost starting to wish that Dumbledore had given it to someone else.

She opened the heavy oak door to the 7th year girls dorm room, and spotted Lily on the floor, laying full length, stretching. She smiled as Lily let out a deep breath. Lily Evans could be found on the floor for several different reasons. The most common was if she wasn't feeling well, for some reason she just gravitated to the floor. Another reason was studying for exams. The stress would overwhelm her, and she would lie for hours, just breathing deeply and occasionally murmuring spells.

But those two activities always involved curling up with a blanket and a pillow, and if for the first reason, a box of tissues was usually involved. If for the second reason, there was usually a wand in her hand. But when Lily was found stretching, it usually only meant one thing. James Potter.

Alice threw her books down next to her bed, and sat primly while Lily stretched first her right leg, and then her left. "You know, you really shouldn't get his hopes up like that." Alice chided sensibly.

Lily stopped stretching and looked up at her friend. "How is it that you always know?"

"I always do, my dear. And while I'm quite sure that James will refrain from contacting the Ministry to tell them what happened, and most of Slytherin won't find out, and maybe a handful of Hufflepuffs, but I'm not sure that James really understands the word 'contained', if you know what I mean." Alice said calmly.

"He's so insufferable." Lily complained half-heartedly. She sat with her legs folded and looked up at her friend. "And he gets more and more pathetic looking every time. Why can't he just give up on me?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure what you're complaining about. He's not bad looking, and he gets decent marks. And he's got hobbies. Hobbies are nice," she said wistfully.

"Just because Frank wasn't on the quidditch team and doesn't run around with his mates breaking as many rules as possible within a time limit doesn't mean he doesn't have hobbies Alice." Lily said reassuringly.

"I do think a bit of fresh air would do him good though." Alice examined her nails as she spoke. "You know, I think maybe giving James a real chance might be the best for both of you. And the rest of Gryffindor house."

"Alice-"

"No, listen. You and I both know that he's not insufferable. I know you think he's funny. It kills you not to laugh at his friend's pranks, and I know you only go to quidditch matches when Gryffindor is playing." Lily opened her mouth to protest, but Alice pressed on. "I don't know how you've managed to keep this up so long. Am I really the only one who can see through your façade?"

"What façade?" Lily asked stubbornly, but refused to meet her eyes.

"You're attracted to him." Alice stated bluntly. She got up and pulled back the covers of her bed as she continued to speak. "I really don't know how everyone else is so oblivious. The way you look at him sometimes almost embarrasses _me_. You work so hard to make everyone think you're above such things, but it's very clear to me."

Lily stood up too, and got her pajamas out of her trunk at the same time as Alice. "I don't even know what you're talking about." She lied defiantly. "I don't look at him any differently than I look at Lupin or even one of the 5th years."

Alice laughed. "Remus is almost like a brother to you. Don't even try to compare him to James. With James, it's different, you look at him like you'd like to have a few quality hours in the Room of Requirement together."

Now it was Lily's turn to gape at her friend's audacity. "I most certainly do not!"

"Lily, lets not argue about this. We both know that I'm right." Alice said seriously. "What could be so bad about dating James? Honestly? Is there a real reason behind all of this rejection?"

The two girls stared at each other for a long time. In silence, they both changed into the pajamas and settled into each of their beds. They breathed slowly and quietly, but finally Lily spoke. "Alice, I don't want a relationship. I don't want to fall in love."

Alice turned on her side to look at Lily, but Lily kept her eyes on the ceiling. "Potter isn't the kind of boy that wants anything less than the real deal. He'll want to hold hands and kiss in public and write love letters. And someday he'll tell me he loves me, and then want to marry me. I don't want any of that."

Quiet came again, and stretched out before them, but Alice didn't break it. Minutes passed slowly, and they could hear a slight commotion from the common room as, no doubt, one of the Marauders caused a small explosion.

"I wont deny that I find him attractive, but really, that doesn't change anything. He thinks about forever. I'd only ever want him physically. I'm not heartless, but I know I'm not going to fall in love with him, and I don't want to hurt him when he finally realizes it." Lily whispered.

Her friend sat upright, and looked at her with a thoughtful look on her face. "You know, that could work." She grinned. "Just explain to him the terms and conditions."

Lily listened to Alice giggle at her own boldness, but found that she was listing to quiet snores almost an hour later. She tossed and turned, an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach making her feel unsettled. Sliding out of bed with very little noise, she sat on the floor quietly. "Maybe Alice has a point…" She whispered, but no one heard her.

* * *

James didn't go to sleep that night. As soon as he bumbled his way back to where his friends were sitting, he sat down and grinned at all of them wordlessly. "Has someone taken pity and cast a cheering charm on him?" Remus asked casually. "Goodness knows we should thank them, so we don't have to deal with another round of depressed James for a week."

Sirius peered at his best friend through his long, fringed hair. "Looks like he's got all the symptoms. Far away look in his eye, difficultly focusing on the conversation, and an idiotic smile on his face." He frowned. "This is a little disconcerting Mooney."

"What did she say James?" Remus asked without looking at him. He was writing feverishly on a late paper for transfiguration, catching up for missing the last class due to his monthly 'sick day'. "Merlin knows why he keeps doing this to himself."

"She… She didn't say no." James let out, and his grin grew wider.

"So Lily has extended her vocabulary. What was the exact terminology in your rejection this time Prongs?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"Sirius, don't use James's rejection as an excuse to not write your essay for Professor Kettleburn." Remus said tiredly.

"You have such little faith in me!" Scoffed Sirius, but it didn't escape his friend's eyes when he pushed it onto the floor. "Come on James! Tell us exactly how she crushed your heart and soul this time!"

"She didn't reject me!" James exclaimed.

Remus looked up, startled. "You don't mean to say that Lily Evans, after two years of rejecting you, has agreed to go out with you?"

"She's _thinking_ about it. She's going to tell me in the morning!" James looked like he could have danced around the room.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a dark look. "Has she really?" Sirius asked unconvincingly, but his tone of voice escaped his elated friend. "James, we're going to head up to the room now. Get a little more done on this paper."

Remus looked at his other friend, equally startled. "What?"

"Come on, you know its too distracting down here." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes. "James, why don't you stay down here and… keep smiling?"

Sirius gathered the books while Remus picked up their parchment and quills. Together, they made their way up the stairs to their dormitory. "Sirius, what on earth?" Remus started, but Sirius cut him off.

"That girl has risen to a new level of cruelty, Mooney. I don't see what she's playing at, messing with Prongs like this. I know she's been a good sport about it for some time now-"

"Two years might count as a bit longer than 'some time' Sirius, but I think I understand you."

"I just hope she doesn't do any lasting damage this time." Sirius said, seriously. His eyes were dark with worry. "James stakes too much on that girl, and I've always thought that it was a bad idea."

The two boys got into bed, essays forgotten on the floor next to the pile of books that Sirius had dropped unceremoniously. "Do you think he's going to stay down there all night?" Remus asked.

"Without a doubt." Sirius said, a little sadly.


	2. Chapter 2

5:30 am came quickly for Lily. She always set an alarm to wake up in the morning, but usually it was unnecessary. Her internal body clock was, what Alice liked to refer to as "frighteningly accurate", but this morning it did not rouse her. Jerking awake to an alarm was her least favorite way to start her day. No matter how early, waking up naturally always gave her a feeling of being fully rested, while if she was woken, she knew she would feel tired all day.

She looked at her watch and inhaled quickly, surprised. She had to be in the common room- now! Looking frantically around the room, her eyes landed on one of Alice's oversized sweaters, with impossibly long sleeves that were forever getting in the way. Lily threw it on over her extra long sleep shirt, and rummaged in her trunk for a pair of thick socks.

"How could I be so stupid?" She whispered as she pulled open the door and slipped outside. With any luck, the common room would still be empty, particularly of teenaged boys with messy hair. She abhorred being late. It was her biggest pet peeve when an appointment was made, and someone didn't respect it. And now, that person was she.

She rushed down the stairs, hoping that she didn't trip or fall. It was already 5:40 am. _Late, late, late…_ she thought to herself.

Then she was in the common room. The fires were lit and burning warmly. And there was James Potter, standing back to her, facing the fireplace. In his school robes. She stopped suddenly, pulling the sweater around her as tightly as she could, suddenly terrified.

* * *

James turned slowly around, hoping that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him again. He'd been convinced that someone had come to the common room several times, when there wasn't anyone actually there.

This time there was. Lily Evans stood before him, looking utterly ridiculous in a huge lavender sweater that he knew belonged to Alice covering up a very long, very striped t-shirt. And she was wearing lumpy, thick woolen socks. Her hair fell loose, snarly and curly bed head. His hand was reaching for his hair to reassure himself even as he spoke, "You look nice."

Lily fidgeted under his gaze. "Right." She said unsurely. "Right, sorry that I'm late."

"It's okay." James said quickly. "I haven't been here long." _Liar. _ He thought to himself. _You've been here all night. _

"Oh. Good then." She said. "Right then."

James tried not to stare at her socks. They didn't even match. Lily Evans was standing in front of him in her pajamas, and her socks were different. It didn't seem right, she always was so prepared and so put together. And this morning, she was wearing miss-matched socks and was late to meet him. "Have you given any thought to- I mean, well, what do you say?" He asked determinedly.

Lily tugged her sweater closer, and James noticed that she was shivering. "Yes. I've thought about it."

He took a step forward and her eyes snapped up to meet his. "Lily?"

She stopped fidgeting and stood tensely. "I haven't changed my mind, Potter." She said quickly. "I don't want to be your girlfriend."

"So that's it then?" He asked, feeling shattered. _Shouldn't have gotten your hopes up, old boy._

"Well..." She started. "Actually, I mean- I was thinking, but- but it's probably a awful idea."

James felt his brows come together as confusion swept over him. Girls were so hard to understand sometimes. Most of the time. Especially Lily. "What idea?"

She was fairly red in the face by now. She wrung her hands and looked down at her feet, avoiding his eyes again. Then she burst out "Wha- what if we weren't in a relationship? What if we just-"

James sat down on the edge of an armchair and watched her closely. "What do you mean?"

Lily bit her lip. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other. Her socks still looked ridiculous. "Have you ever considered keeping things… casual?" She asked so quietly, he almost couldn't hear her. "Be- between us, I mean."

_Us._ James thought. Everything she was saying was so contradictory. "You want to just be friends?"

"Not exactly." Her face flushed even redder. She ran her fingers through her hair. "You haven't happened to have heard of the term 'friends with benefits', have you?"

He shook his head.

"Well… it's when two people," here she gestured at herself and him, "agree to be together. They agree to be together, with no strings attached. They set up guidelines, rules, to keep from becoming emotionally involved."

"What are you trying to say Lily?" His confusion was turning slowly into hurt. "You just want a one night stand or something?"

Lily straightened up, stiffening. When she opened her mouth, she spoke in a dangerously quiet voice. "It's your turn, Potter. You think about it and you get back to me." She paused, and then said, "You know I'm not that kind of girl."

James stood still and watched her spin around, disappearing back up the stairs. A few moments passed, and then he heard the familiar sound of a material he knew far too well. Turning to look, he saw Remus and Sirius standing in the corner, looking as shocked as he felt. His invisibility cloak was grasped tightly in Sirius's hands.

* * *

Lily sprawled across her bed on her back, and sighed loudly. Then she took a deep breath and sat upright, checking her wristwatch. It was almost 6:30. She glanced at Alice, who was curled up in her blankets so tightly she looked almost like she was in a cocoon. She signed again. "Alice? Alice, you need to wake up."

The brown haired girl flopped onto her side, and opened her eyes. "Lily, not everyone likes waking up this early." She complained.

"Its not early. It's time for breakfast."

"Already? I just went to sleep-" She stopped suddenly, and stared at her friend, wide eyed. "What happened? I can't believe I missed it! What did you say? What did he say?" She yanked her blankets back forcibly and swung her legs out.

Pressing her lips together in a thin line, Lily didn't say anything.

"Don't hold out on me! I know you were down there, I can tell by how you're dressed." Alice said. Then she gave Lily a quick once over. "Oh dear, look at how you're dressed. Did you really let James see your pajamas?"

Ignoring her previous questions, she snapped, "There is nothing wrong with my pajamas."

"Not technically. But you could have tried to give the impression that you wear something a bit more… well, interesting to bed." Alice said with a smile.

Lily looked down at her feet. "Maybe the socks?"

Alice laughed. "Those are probably the worst part. Wait! Don't avoid my questions, Lily Evans!"

"There's not much to tell."

Frowning at her friend, Alice pressed on. "If there's nothing to tell, then why do you look like that?"

"Alright, alright. I told him that I hadn't changed my mind about going out with him." Lily said.

"No, no, that's not all." The brunette scolded. "Tell me everything."

Lily stared at the floor and took a book into her hands and fiddled with it. "I asked him- what I mean is- I thought a lot about what you said last night. I know it was probably supposed to be a joke, but I asked him anyway."

"Asked him what, exactly?" Alice asked, a smile beginning to grow on her face.

"I asked him if he'd be interested in something casual. Oh god," she moaned, "I even brought up the term 'friends with benefits'." She flopped back and closed her eyes. _Did I really say that to him? _

"Oh Lily, I wasn't really serious about that." Alice said softly.

Lily opened her eyes. "Well, I was being completely serious when I asked him. And you know what he said?"

Alice gasped. "He said no?"

She shook her head. "He didn't say anything. He just stared at me like an idiot and kept asking questions. Potter asked me if I wanted a one night stand!"

"Oh Lily…" Alice said again. "I wouldn't take it like this. Give the boy a minute to think about what you've said to him."

"How am I supposed to take this?" Lily demanded. "I put myself out there, and he basically rejected me."

Alice tried to hold back a smile, but couldn't. "Have you ever considered that this might be exactly the way you leave James feeling every time you've rejected him? Except, it probably hurts him a lot more."

"More? How could you say that?" Lily asked.

"Maybe because he's in love with you? And has been for quite some time now?"

* * *

Sirius and Remus were already dressed for the day, so the three of them, at Remus's suggestion, "Breakfast anyone?" headed down to breakfast in an unusually quiet manner. James walked almost on autopilot, his mind buzzing.

"Did you hear everything?" He asked, stopping when they were right outside the Great Hall.

"Yeah. All of it." Said Sirius, anger crossing his face in a scowl. "I can't believe that girl!"

James opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. He looked at Remus appealingly.

"I think she had a lot of nerve to say what she did." He said evenly. "And I agree with one thing; Lily is not the kind of girl to be out looking for a one night stand. I think she might be giving you a chance, in her own way."

James slouched against the wall and shoved his hands into his pockets. His head sagged.

"Prongs, take your hands out of your pockets and stand up straight. Look smart, you don't need anyone thinking that there's something wrong." Sirius said, a little coldly. "That girl is messing with your mind."

The three entered the Great Hall and made their way to the Gryffindor table, taking their usual seats in the middle of the table. James and Sirius sat next to each other, across from Remus, who was, as usual, accompanied by a sizable stack of schoolbooks.

Breakfast at Hogwarts was always delicious, and today was no different. Except for James. He shoved his pancakes back and forth on the plate, his conversation with Lily playing over and over in his head. _"Have you ever considered keeping things casual?"_ and the look on her face when she said, _"You know I'm not that kind of girl."_

He jerked when he felt Sirius's elbow make contact with his ribs. "Ouch, Padfoot! Was that really necessary?"

"Entirely necessary. Lily and Alice just sat down. Now eat your pancakes." Sirius hissed.

It took all the strength James had not to look down to the end of the table where he knew Lily was sitting. He cut up his pancakes into small squares deliberately, and then forced one piece after another into his mouth. He glued his eyes on Remus's stack of books, and chewed each piece thoroughly.

"James, is there any particular reason that you look like you're going to be sick?" Remus chided, amusement in his face.

"Ready for Herbology? I need to have a chat with ol' Professor Sprout before class starts. Mind if we head out early?" James said as nonchalantly as he could.

Sirius looked suspicious, but shoved a biscuit in his mouth and nodded. Remus gathered his books slowly, and moved to follow his two friends out. As they passed by the end of the table, James couldn't hold back any longer. He tried to sneak a quick look at Lily, but she caught his eye. She looked so angry; he almost tripped over his own feet.

He stopped, trying to find the words. "You should know… that I don't think that. You know." And with that, he kept walking and caught up with the other two boys, who were nearing the door.

* * *

Alice kept her eyes on Lily the whole time. She was picking at her food, reaching for a muffin and nibbling at it before she had a small bit of sausage. Her eyes were darting around the table, obviously trying to find something to focus on that wasn't James Potter. Alice glanced over at James. He appeared to be forcing food down his own throat. She rolled her eyes. Her friends were embarrassingly childish.

Then the three boys got up to leave. Alice heard James mention talking to Professor Sprout, but knew it was a lie. Professor Sprout was still eating breakfast, engaged in an animated conversation with the tiny Professor Flitwick.

As James walked by, he met Lily's gaze, and Alice was glad that she wasn't on the receiving end. Lily looked furious, with a hint of humiliation hiding behind it.

"You should know... that I don't think that. You know." James said, his voice low. Then, he continued walking.

"Lily?" Alice asked.

"It's fine. It's fine." Lily said, but her jaw was clenched. "I'm going to pop back into the dorm really quick before class. Don't worry, I wont be late." And she got up, stuffing a muffin in her pocket at the same time before leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N

In response to a question, I did say that Alice was Head Girl. I'm really not going for perfect accuracy here. I don't even know if she's in the same year as Lily or not, but I don't like making up new characters, they never fit in with the real ones. And as you can see, I've completely left Peter out of this. I really don't like Peter.

Also, I really appreciate any and all of the constructive feedback I can get, and I'll always answer any questions that are posed to me.

* * *

Lily was late to Herbology. But when she walked into the second greenhouse, she didn't rush or stumble. Instead, she held her head high and almost strolled by the rest of her house, taking her usual position on Professor Sprout's left side. "Sorry I'm late Professor." She said simply, and left it at that. Excuses weren't Lily Evans' style.

Instead of deducting points or demanding where her student had been, Professor Sprout nodded and went on with her lesson. "So as you can see, although you all learned about the Devil's Snare in your first years at Hogwarts, it will most likely be a reoccurring theme on you N.E.W.T.'s. It is a simple, yet very dangerous plant, but if one forgets how to deal with it, it can and will have very deadly consequences."

Lily looked gravely at the plant sitting innocently in the pot before her. She focused on it, taking in the shape of the leaves and the strange way that the stems remained motionless, hiding. One corner of her mind registered that a question was being posed to the class, but strangely, she felt no need to pay attention or to try to answer.

She took out her wand and prodded one of the leaves curiously. It sprang into action, and Lily jerked her wand away with a sharp gasp, just soon enough to keep it out of the malicious grasp of the plant.

Alice looked at her, frowning. She whispered, "Lily, you shouldn't."

The redhead bowed her head slightly, and continued to stare at the plant. She remembered the lessons they'd had so many years before on Devil's Snare. It was a tricky plant, which would entwine anything within its strong vines, and tighten aggressively when it sensed resistance. _When it sensed resistance, _Lily thought to herself. _I wonder…_

With a slow breath, she reached her hand out and stroked a leaf. Instantly, a vine whipped out and circled her wrist, tightly cutting into her skin. Next to her, Alice let out a small shriek, startling the rest of the class, but Lily sat quietly.

James stood up suddenly, but both Sirius and Remus grabbed hold of his robes, keeping him in place. "Sit down James!" Sirius hissed at him. He sat down reluctantly, worry written all over his face.

"Miss Evans!" Professor Sprout cried, shocked at her behavior.

But Lily didn't move. The sharp pain she'd first felt was dwindling. She took careful breaths, and eventually the vine loosened its hold. She looked up, and saw several surprised faces looking back at her. "It's okay, see?" She said calmly, and pulled her arm away mere centimeters at a time. And the vine let her go, curling back into itself.

"Miss Evans, what was that all about?" Professor Sprout asked sharply, not used to one of her quietest students doing something so blatantly against her rules.

"Oh, Professor, I was just thinking of the lesson you gave us back in first year. And I remember that part of the plants power comes from the resistance of the thing that touches it. I wanted to see if it would let me go if I didn't resist." Lily said sheepishly.

"Not one of your best ideas, Evans." Sirius piped up from across the greenhouse, giving her a wide smile that contradicted his words. Obviously, he had thought it was brilliant. It didn't escape Lily's attention that James elbowed him fiercely in the ribs, but she pretended it had.

"For once, Mr. Black, I agree with you." Professor Sprout said in good humor. Then she leaned closer to inspect Lily's wrist. "Young lady, you should probably escort yourself to the Hospital Wing and get that cleaned up."

"Oh!" Lily said in surprise as she looked down at her wrist and saw a thin line of blood circling around it. "I didn't realize it was so strong." She stood up and quickly picked up her things and walked out, still looking at her arm with faint interest.

* * *

Alice caught up with Lily while she was on her way to Potions later that morning. She looked at her friend carefully. She seemed fine, her wrist was lightly bandaged, but she moved with a newfound spring in her step that Alice hadn't expected to see. "Pepper-up potion?" She asked.

"What?" Lily asked. "Oh, no. It was just nice to leave class early. And it was really cool to play with that plant."

"It's not just a plant Lily, it's the Devil's Snare. You should be more careful." Alice said responsibly.

"Sprout was right next to me. What's the worst that could have happened?" Lily reasoned.

"Well, you're lucky it let you go. Anyway, how's your wrist?"

Lily held up her arm and they both examined it closely. "Madame Pomfrey just shook her head and sighed when I told her what happened. Then she wrapped it up and sent me on my way. She didn't even look worried."

"Only worried for your sanity, Evans." A boisterous voice cut in.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes Black, because compared to attempting to transfigure your mates into furniture or giving yourself a Shrinking Solution is much more sane than touching a Devils Snare."

"We _had_ to shrink ourselves, Evans, how else would we have been able to infiltrate the ranks of the house elves?" Sirius explained jovially.

"Oh of course, that makes perfect sense." Lily said snidely.

"Why did you need to transfigure each other?" Alice asked curiously, trying to settle the tension.

But this caused Sirius' smile to freeze on his face, and his eyes darted to James and Remus. Remus gave a jerk, and dropped his bag on the floor. James forced a smile onto his face. "No comment, Alice."

The three boys steered themselves away after Remus had finished picking up his books off the floor. Alice raised her eyebrow at Lily. "Well, that was odd."

"At least they never tried to transfigure either of us into armchairs." Lily pointed out with a laugh.

Alice laughed too. "That would have been less than amusing. All right, lets go to class. I hope Slughorn has something interesting today." And they trailed after the boys.

* * *

Sirius and Remus took their seats in the middle of the potions classroom. Sirius muttered something along the lines of "… that old codger Slughorn…" as he sat down. He'd always had a bit of a good-natured grudge against the head of Slytherin House.

James stood awkwardly, glancing at the door until Lily and Alice walked through. As they sat down, he hefted his bag with a deep breath and took a step in their direction.

"James." Remus spoke quietly, stopping him. "Do you really want to do this now?"

James looked back at him, looking grave. "Rather sooner than later." And he kept going.

Remus shook his head. "Any time has got to be better that while Slughorn is teaching us about antidotes."

Sirius nodded. "This should be interesting."

James could hear his friends talking as he walked towards Lily and Alice, but he couldn't stop himself. He sat down at the desk behind them, and noticed when the redhead stiffened in her seat. James slowly took out his copy of Advanced Potion Making, a scrap of parchment and a quill.

Professor Slughorn moved to the front of the class in his usual manner, beginning his lesson at once. James scribbled some of the things the man said on his parchment, but it was sporadic and mostly useless information. Lily, on the other hand, he noticed, was devotedly taking notes. Her hand was clenched so tightly around her quill that her knuckles were white.

It didn't take long before James stopped trying to take notes at all. He put down his quill and sat back in his chair decidedly. To anyone else in the classroom it looked as if the teenage boy had given up and was staring blankly into space. But James carefully took in Lily's movements. When she stopped writing, she opened and closed her right hand rapidly, stretching out the muscles that had to be cramping up by now.

His eyes followed her hand as it pushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear so that it wouldn't fall in her face. Her fingertips occasionally drummed the surface of the worn wooden desk, giving off a muffled tapping sound so light that he might not have heard it if he wasn't watching so closely.

He remembered how she'd looked this morning. Instead of looking put together, with her hair, as it was now, bangs carefully pinned back and hair combed, it had been wild and messy. Instead of her wrinkle free school robes and newly polished shoes, she'd been wearing an oversized sweater and mismatching socks.

_Those socks._ James thought with a smile. He hadn't been able to give them a close examination, what with their frazzled conversation, but he distinctly remembered his surprise when he saw she hadn't noticed or cared that they were different. While he pictured them in his mind, his smile grew, and it finally caught Slughorn's attention that one of his students was obviously not paying the slightest attention to his lesson.

"Mr. Potter, are you paying attention?" He reprimanded sharply, shuffling over to where James sat alone at a table.

"Yes sir?" James blurted out on instinct. Then he paused and took a second to absorb what the professor had just said. "I mean, of course I'm paying attention."

"Let me see your notes." Slughorn said with dry humor.

"Right. My notes. Well, you see Professor-" James started, but was cut off.

"Just as I thought. Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, and if you'd like to keep it at ten, I'd advise you to pick up your quill." Slughorn gave him a small smile. "And do try to focus on what I'm saying."

"Yes sir." James said, and picked up his quill. Slughorn, satisfied, moved back to the front of the room and continued lecturing on antidotes. James wrote down a few of the things he said. _A bezoar is an antidote against most poison_, he thought slowly as he drew the letters_. _As he was drawing a goat next to this on the parchment, his attention was stolen away again. Lily sneezed.

"Bless you Evans." He whispered, against his better judgment. He could almost hear Sirius berating him in his head.

Lily spun around in her seat furiously. "Shove it Potter." She warned, and turned back around just as fast.

Alice put a hand on her shoulder and murmured something to Lily that he couldn't hear, and James felt frustration sweep over him. _A bloke can't even say 'bless you' around here._ Slughorn glanced over and James shrugged at him. "Ten more points, Mr. Potter. Please pay attention."

_I just can't win,_ James thought, and spent the rest of the double period writing a letter home to his mum. She was always writing him, and every time he got a letter he felt a little guiltier that he never wrote back. And seeing how it was going to be impossible to pay attention or speak to Lily, he might as well look like he was busy.


End file.
